Token Post Detailing a Shitty Monday

We've all been there, I've got nothing special here folks, so I'll just powerpoint the mess. A veritable checklist of sorts to ensure one's Monday rots:

• Wake up inappropriately hungover
• Remember personal trainer appointment made last week for 6.45am
• Drive to personal training appointment and ask yourself, "Am I still drunk.. What day is today?"
• Suffer through 60 minutes of plyometric conditioning
• Get stuck in traffic trying to dash home to shower for work
• Bring "breakfast" (protein powder mixed into yogurt with banana, blueberries, frozen mango) into the bathroom to chug while showering.
• Proceed to spill "breakfast" all over dresser top, portable DVD player, and DirectTV box
• Dash out to car to find it blocked by neighbor who pulled in behind me
• Try to schedule an afternoon of interviews with candidate you found through extensive (and embarrassing) digging through personal social networks (and clever thinking) for sometime later in the week, only to find out (via email) that said candidate is already scheduled for a day of interviews Wednesday with another group in the office.
• Work till 6pm; drive home and pull up to a block completely without power. TOTAL BLACKOUT.
• Find flashlight.
• Notice that across the street, the grid is on, obscene amounts of Christmas lights support this suspicion.
• Call Southern California Edison (Power company).
• Select 1 from the voice-menu to obtain an outage status report.
• Learn from recorded female voice that no outages have been reported.
• Select 2 to report an outage.
• Get connected with a human who inquires how she might be able to provide me with "excellent service this evening"
• Reply "Well, you could get my power back on! Haha!".
• Listen to silence.
• Become informed that, along with 13,000 other paying customers, power is out due to "squirrels".
• Proceed to give all personal information -- address, name, cell phone #.
• End call.*
• Begin yelling to BF about how that wasn't "excellent fucking service at all" since the expected amount of time till repair wasn't reported and the reasons are both lame and (fucking) necessary and that even GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR as the cause wouldn't help at all, continue cursing.
• Blanche as the cellphone crackes (in the dark), "Hello, I'm still on the line"
• Worry that power station customer service rep. will proceed to post on her blog an .mp3 of the recorded phone call, along with my name and telephone number, filing the post under "Total Asshole"
• Have mother call on cell just as the power goes back on, asking "How was your Monday?"

[End Scene]

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