Who Knew?

Kerb is a word.

I can't believe I've gone this long through life and didn't know that.

Seriously.

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120 Minutes of My Life I'll Never Get Back

With starting the new job, I was informed by my HR representative that I had 60 days to complete a recently mandated online course in Sexual Harassment. The thing was set up such that one had to spend 120 minutes taking the course, completing it in less time would result in..I dunno..a tear in the space/time continuum or something. Actually it meant you wouldn't be able to print out the certificate trumpeting one's wisdom and knowledge (and total repudiation) of Sexual Harassment in the workplace.

A colleague of mine went the extra mile and compiled this wonderful and moving document which he emailed to me upon day's end. All of the following were actually and seriously in the 'training' and do not reflect the opinions of this author. No embellishments have been added.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT TRAINING GREATEST HITS:

• Some actions like grabbing a colleague’s genitals, when no intimate relationship exists, are so offensive that they are presumed unwelcome.

• As they finish locking up, Heather pushes Antonio against the wall, kisses him and grabs his crotch. Shocked, Antonio pulls away and runs away from her. Does this conduct count as severe?
  

• Along with groping, viewing pornography and giving backrubs, it is also inappropriate to touch or spank your colleagues, either using your hand or an object. This is true even if the conduct is done in jest.

• A nurse was sexually harassed by an 84-year-old patient recovering from penile implant surgery. The patient hounded the nurse for sex and lied to others that they had slept together at a Motel 6. … [T]he harassment continued with the patient trying to run the nurse down in his electric scooter!

• "He has quite a personality! He always signs his emails with something risqué, like: 'Squeezes to ya, babe. Kiss kiss, the F-man.' Everyone in the department is calling him the 'e-mauler'!"

• Joyce recently sent an email asking her employees to rate the top three female celebrities they would "do" if they were lesbians.
  

• Anthony is having lunch when a supervisor from another department, Roger, comes up to him with a big grin. Roger says, "Hey, Anthony, you didn’t tell me about that girl-on-girl action going on in your department! That was hot!"

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Employment :: The Saga Continues Yet

Hm. I just got (and responded to) an email from the place I've now had 3 different interviews with, asking if I would be available tomorrow morning for a phone call.

I replied in the affirmative.

What does this mean? It's so mysterious. I need a Scooby Snack.

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Can Someone Please Explain This to Me?

Crowd swipes dying man's groceries
MESA, Ariz., Oct. 3 (UPI)

Cause..yeah. I really do not understand this. At all.

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I Couldn't Have Said It Better

alternate title: "WTF?!"

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The WTC Follows Me Wherever I Go It Seems

Yeah, that's "save" that's chalked onto the beam.

Currently, a public installation/memorial is being installed in my town for 9-11. The piece contains 2 large rusted, crunked girders from the World Trade Center in New York. When I first walked by it during the day and slowly realized what I was looking at I got completely freaked out. As I walked away from it, though I started to smile.

"Good to see you again," I thought to myself. "Funny you should retire to this seaside town with a view of the ocean, too."

I used to walk past the exact same structural supports down in Battery Park when I went to visit my friend who lived across the street. She's since died.

There's a scheduled unveiling whatever this Tuesday in the morning. I think I will make a point of walking down and checking it out. Fuck you terrorists and you too Mister President.

###
On a lighter note:

Me: Knock, knock.
You: Who's there?
Me: 9-11.
You: 9-11 who?




Me: YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

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Strange Sight

This morning while having coffee on my (increasingly dilapidated) balcony, I observed a decent sized crow alight on top of a utility pole with an entire slice of whole wheat bread in its beak.

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I Finally Did It :: My First Tattoo

Whaddya think?

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Tastes I've Aquired

Wow. I was surprised to see how many foods I consider to be my "favorite" are on this list. A 'century egg' I'll give you that..But, Lapsang Souchang? Really? Is it that difficult to enjoy? Capers? Kimchi? I feel gastronomically out of touch.

List of acquired tastes, From Wikipedia

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Nightmare Fodder

This would be a sure-fire way to give that special kid in your life a potentially scarring psychological episode that would feed night terrors for a decent amount of time. [via UneasySilence]

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The Headlines Get Gnarlier

The past couple of weeks have been marked by a gaping lack of "real news" (not that I'm complaining). Shapeshifter got married, Bush is still an idiot asshole 'leader' of epic proportions, superficiality can be rewarding, and the odd, gross headline have come across my monitor lately.

In continuation of the slow, lame news stretch, here's more gross and pretty useless information.

Larvae Take Up Residence on Man's Head
Jul 17, 11:35 PM (ET)

CARBONDALE, Colo. (AP) - Doctors thought the strange, bleeding bumps on Aaron Dallas' head might be from gnat bites or shingles. Then the bumps started moving.

A doctor found five active bot fly larvae living beneath the skin atop Dallas' head.

"I'd put my hand back there and feel them moving. I thought it was blood coursing through my head," Dallas told the (Glenwood Springs) Post Independent.

"I could hear them. I actually thought I was going crazy."

Rest of the story here. [MyWay News]

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One of the Gnarlier Headlines I've Read

Rugby player finds rival's tooth buried in forehead [AFP via RawStory]
An Australian rugby player who went to his doctor with severe headaches was amazed to find he'd been living with an opponent's tooth embedded in his forehead for months, it was reported Tuesday.

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