3 Random Pictures from my Temp Folder

Please to enjoy.

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Cleanup

Wow. I didn't realize this was still clinging to the innards of the internet. I'm not even sure where things left off. Looks like a couple of years ago.
How does it happen that the time begins to fly by so quickly? Or have I just gotten busier?

This image pleases me.

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Or an Appreciation of Art

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If Only

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Foxy Sailor Gang wtf?

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Sheer Awesomeness

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Damn You, Guitar Hero (Wii)

Look what you've turned me into!
Who knew that playing the guitar was so damn hard/skillful?!

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marriedtothesea.com

Owww

I must have gotten sunburn on my early morning run along the beach.
Or during my sunset walk. Or while buying myself really cool pants and shirts this afternoon. Thank you January, SoCal. Now if only this fever blister would go away.

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Herpetic

So 2008 wasn't See-You-Next-Tuesday-y enough, it needed to flick a bitchy painful fever-blister (yeah, I'm going with fever blister) my way all effing week. And I had to work early and off-site 3x.

So I'm illing, busted, wounded, and demoralized. Awesome. Thanks New Year!

But.

I did get my FedEx from Canada for some super pricey Swiss-lab baked facial products that promise to make me an infant facially using Kalahari Watermelon extract.

No shit.

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Who Knew?

Kerb is a word.

I can't believe I've gone this long through life and didn't know that.

Seriously.

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2008 :: So Far, Not So Much

Spent the weekend sicker than I've been in a loooong time. Of course, last Friday morning during my work out, my trainer asks me "So, you didn't get sick over the holiday?" to which I (somewhat puzzled by the question) said proudly "Dude, I haven't been sick in a loooong time. Like forever. Well at least since I moved to LA."
(Hubris, you're one bitch of a bedfellow. Haha, my new screen name, Hugh Bris)

So, Friday night, felt a little weird, headachey, sad.. Figured back-to-work-blues and all.
Saturday morning - puking like a sorority girl, felt like a truck had literally ridden over my body, and um..the lower GI was...seemingly passed out unconscious (?).
So yeah, got to spend the weekend prone, shivering, delirious, hurling, moaning, slowly dehydrating. Lost seriously like 6 pounds.

But I should be so negative. I did *gain a cold sore on my lip* today at work! - sweet. Gimme kiss.

All I really need at this point is conjunctivitis and perhaps a fractured wrist to complete this whole..scene.

[Note to powers that "be": I'm kidding. Don't feel obligated to deliver.]

Eh.
2008 you've actively disappointed me. Work on that shit, yo.

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If You Could Smell My Blog

Christmas came and went, New York was a nice time.
Santa's theme for me this year was 'Lux'. Now I smell really good.
I'd do me.

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Slamming into Christmas

I'm off to a holiday party I totally forgot about until about 2 hours ago. Got me haircut and am looking better then usual.
I wonder when I'm going to get to start shopping.

Seriously.

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Token Post Detailing a Shitty Monday

We've all been there, I've got nothing special here folks, so I'll just powerpoint the mess. A veritable checklist of sorts to ensure one's Monday rots:

• Wake up inappropriately hungover
• Remember personal trainer appointment made last week for 6.45am
• Drive to personal training appointment and ask yourself, "Am I still drunk.. What day is today?"
• Suffer through 60 minutes of plyometric conditioning
• Get stuck in traffic trying to dash home to shower for work
• Bring "breakfast" (protein powder mixed into yogurt with banana, blueberries, frozen mango) into the bathroom to chug while showering.
• Proceed to spill "breakfast" all over dresser top, portable DVD player, and DirectTV box
• Dash out to car to find it blocked by neighbor who pulled in behind me
• Try to schedule an afternoon of interviews with candidate you found through extensive (and embarrassing) digging through personal social networks (and clever thinking) for sometime later in the week, only to find out (via email) that said candidate is already scheduled for a day of interviews Wednesday with another group in the office.
• Work till 6pm; drive home and pull up to a block completely without power. TOTAL BLACKOUT.
• Find flashlight.
• Notice that across the street, the grid is on, obscene amounts of Christmas lights support this suspicion.
• Call Southern California Edison (Power company).
• Select 1 from the voice-menu to obtain an outage status report.
• Learn from recorded female voice that no outages have been reported.
• Select 2 to report an outage.
• Get connected with a human who inquires how she might be able to provide me with "excellent service this evening"
• Reply "Well, you could get my power back on! Haha!".
• Listen to silence.
• Become informed that, along with 13,000 other paying customers, power is out due to "squirrels".
• Proceed to give all personal information -- address, name, cell phone #.
• End call.*
• Begin yelling to BF about how that wasn't "excellent fucking service at all" since the expected amount of time till repair wasn't reported and the reasons are both lame and (fucking) necessary and that even GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR as the cause wouldn't help at all, continue cursing.
• Blanche as the cellphone crackes (in the dark), "Hello, I'm still on the line"
• Worry that power station customer service rep. will proceed to post on her blog an .mp3 of the recorded phone call, along with my name and telephone number, filing the post under "Total Asshole"
• Have mother call on cell just as the power goes back on, asking "How was your Monday?"

[End Scene]

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HyperConscious

Working again has, among other things, caused my brain to return to the state of being constantly "on" -- once again I find myself being extremely analytic and perhaps over-processing the things that come into my head.

My patience outside of work is shorter as a result. Which kind of sucks. People I speak with, drivers on the road, pedestrians crossing the street -- they do everything too slow.

I should hire a prostitute.
LOL. Kidding, I'm kidding. (I don't have the time.)

But more importantly, what's going on in the world out there? And I'm talking Lindney Spears-han wise. Not war stuff.

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Existential Angst Encapsulated in Chatspace

Working title - "Is There Anybody Out There?"

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120 Minutes of My Life I'll Never Get Back

With starting the new job, I was informed by my HR representative that I had 60 days to complete a recently mandated online course in Sexual Harassment. The thing was set up such that one had to spend 120 minutes taking the course, completing it in less time would result in..I dunno..a tear in the space/time continuum or something. Actually it meant you wouldn't be able to print out the certificate trumpeting one's wisdom and knowledge (and total repudiation) of Sexual Harassment in the workplace.

A colleague of mine went the extra mile and compiled this wonderful and moving document which he emailed to me upon day's end. All of the following were actually and seriously in the 'training' and do not reflect the opinions of this author. No embellishments have been added.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT TRAINING GREATEST HITS:

• Some actions like grabbing a colleague’s genitals, when no intimate relationship exists, are so offensive that they are presumed unwelcome.

• As they finish locking up, Heather pushes Antonio against the wall, kisses him and grabs his crotch. Shocked, Antonio pulls away and runs away from her. Does this conduct count as severe?
  

• Along with groping, viewing pornography and giving backrubs, it is also inappropriate to touch or spank your colleagues, either using your hand or an object. This is true even if the conduct is done in jest.

• A nurse was sexually harassed by an 84-year-old patient recovering from penile implant surgery. The patient hounded the nurse for sex and lied to others that they had slept together at a Motel 6. … [T]he harassment continued with the patient trying to run the nurse down in his electric scooter!

• "He has quite a personality! He always signs his emails with something risqué, like: 'Squeezes to ya, babe. Kiss kiss, the F-man.' Everyone in the department is calling him the 'e-mauler'!"

• Joyce recently sent an email asking her employees to rate the top three female celebrities they would "do" if they were lesbians.
  

• Anthony is having lunch when a supervisor from another department, Roger, comes up to him with a big grin. Roger says, "Hey, Anthony, you didn’t tell me about that girl-on-girl action going on in your department! That was hot!"

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I am Going to Try Very Hard

to not have this webspace become a repository of work-related horror stories, critiques, or complaints.

But I can't promise anything at this early stage.

Bear with me.
:(

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Monday Morning, 9am "Meetings"

with your new "supervisor" who was out of the office the second half of your first week on the job are bullshit.

But what do I know? I'm just the asshole who works here.

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