Flashback

I was going to post an angry diatribe about what an asshole the president of the US is for trying to harsh on the NYT for publishing the news that the government is now monitoring financial transactions (on top of phone calls) in his "war on terror" but rather than do that and risk getting my ass hauled into some federal prison for anti-american Homeland security bullshit, I went to my happy place and I share it with you. I totally remember this vignette from Sesame Street and sometimes, when I get a really high fever, I still hear the song looping in my head.

Case Study in Horrible Television and Complete Freakiness

I've got to go out of town for a funeral, so I'm going to be offline for a couple. (Yeah, that to would be both of you who read this.)

I honestly don't know what referred me to this video, but it's both entertaining and disturbing on a number of levels. Enjoy it. Discuss. My money's on the fact that it's complete and utter artifice on both the producer's part and on the part of the 'victim', but I don't really care to ponder it much further.

A Reward for the Person Who Figures Out How to Order This

I want one so bad. [pdf via MUSUC]

Don't Cry for Me, Argentina, Cylons, Etc.

No, this isn't a showtunes post -- it's more FIFA FEVER!
The Netherlands are playing Argentina. As. I. Type.

So far, it's tied at zero. The color of NED sure is um..safe (for playing on a dark highway). No seriously, the orange is so intense it's leaving screen-burn on my monitor. To quote the idiotic sportscaster, "The parade of yellow cards continues."

Whoa, hello NED #17 - Ladies & Gents meet Wesley (haha) Sneidjer:

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• In other news, I've been geeking out hardcore by watching the Battlestar Galactica remake on DVD. Say what you will, but it's actually some of the more compelling television programming I've seen in a while. Perhaps it's tapping into the 8 year old I was when the original was on air. Perhaps it's the parallels between the made-for-tv drama and the current political upheavals. It's good, regardless.

• I have another job interview this Friday morning at a start-up that a friend is working at. She told me to "dress cool". (RUDE) So now I'm sure to make a bad fashion call and show up looking like an idiot. I'm thinking that my red Team USA beret from the winter Olympics will have the perfect balance of 'edgy' and quirky while still conveying a sense of cool aptitude, whaddya think?

• In an effort to embarrass a certain lurker of these pages, I'm debating crafting a post that describes - in salacious detail - a certain erotic escapade that involved underpants being torn from the body and a lot of gymnastic man-on-man action. Stay tuned.
  

iHate

Animation here

Um, I'm...Sorry?

I guess?

FIFA Fever

Sweden is playing England right now and I'm somewhat distracted with the fact that there are some pretty cute haircuts on some many of the players.

Whoa, what's this? #3 is um..talented for sure. Wait, it's the captain, Olof Mellberg. Let's do some background, shall we?

Sweden captain Olof Mellberg looks as though he would be just as comfortable in a Viking long ship as he is on the football pitch. Standing at 187cms and weighing 83kg, the bearded defender cuts an imposing figure at the back and his tough, uncompromising tackles make him a fierce opponent, providing a protective shield on which goalkeepers know they can rely.

1:20PST - Tied up 1:1
Announcers are blabbing about the US vs. Ghana match. Face it, folks, the US Team sucks. Apparently 2 of Ghana's starters are out, which is a good thing for the US team. How sad. We can only perform/win when the other team is handicapped or if they accidentally score a goal for us? Shameful.

1:22 Owch. An elbow to the face.

1:30 There's Becks. Haha, the announced acknowledges that there's a lot of "tugging and grabbing" going on. Yeah there is.. Now they're trying to besmirch his good name by bringing up some of the complaints people have had re: Beckham's move to Real Madrid and how he shouldn't be captain, etc. Whatever. We wish we had a player as skilled and interesting (pop culturally) as him.


It's hard to watch and blog this shit at the same time.. Beckham just corner kicked. #21 ENG heads it. Ball moves back upfield.

1:36PST Swedish free kick. Cleared by ENG.

1:37PST Handball called vs. Edmund #5 SWE.

(Freddie Lundberg is great to watch.)

Edmund is sticking to Beckham, resulting in less than stellar performance.

1:40PST Yellow card - tackle from behind vs. 7 -Alexandersson.

We're in the 85th minute of play. England is being praised for playing an excellent
game. ENGLAND SCORES 2-1!


1:44PST Yellow card vs. Lundberg


Paraguay just scored in their match, eliminating Trini

1:47pst SWEDEN SCORES IN THE 90th MINUTE. TIED 2 UP!


Looks like England will be denied it's first victory over Sweden since 1968.

I gotta watch no more blogging. 3 more minutes added.

More bashing on Beckham.. Yawn. I hate American commentators for international sports.

Sweden will play Germany.. Intersting. That should be good.
Game's Over - Draw.

Damn!

Multitasking

If one of your 'tasks' is aimless, mindless websurfing and the other is watching World Cup, having a TV tuner card in one's PC is crucial.

I Comb the Internet So You Don't Have To

Some of these* links contain language and/or themes that renders them NFBSK
The others are just weird, funny, or interesting.

• *Recumbent Fuckheads [corporate-casual]
  

• *Boys Don't Cry [forksplit]

• Things My Boyfriend Says [written by a girl]

• Weird Russian (?) Guy Who Made a Musical Suit - cool demo (requires audio)

• High Concept WTF?! - [Book of Numbers]

• Arthurian Pictures [as in King Arthur]

• Stretches for Weight Training
  

Totally Buffed

my toenails. duh.

so. damn. shiny.

A Model Citizen: Kung-Fu & Library Cards

It's another beautiful day out so I was inspired to go down to City Hall and register my badself in order to sign up for an evening class; that went down without a hitch. Assuming I perform the required online registration, I shall be spending my Monday evenings learning "streetwise" self-defense. Yep, that's right. Here's what I imagine I shall look like to any potential thug who tries to bring me down, after completing my local evening course

I hope to learn more of a Crane Style than Viper, but whatevs

Since I had my lease in hand, I popped in next-door to the library and am now the proud owner of this:

yeah, I was disappointed too with the design too - Imagine the Possibilities for sure

And what will I tote my freshly minted library card around in, you may ask? Well, my brand spankin' new Ninja-Kitty Gama-Go wallet that I picked up this weekend down in Laguna at the opening of Pervasion! (showcasing Gary Baseman & Tim Biskup's work):

outfitted with zipping coin section!

Guns, Not Gays Threaten Marriage

From My Way

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP) - A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important. He got more than he bargained for when he ended up being chased and shot at.

"Just when you thought you had heard everything," Ann Arbor police Detective Sgt. Jim Stephenson told The Ann Arbor News.

The couple were discussing marriage early Wednesday when the woman said she wasn't sure if she was ready, according to Ann Arbor police reports. The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.

Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.

The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.

A resident called police, who arrested the gunman on charges of aggravated assault and carrying a concealed weapon. He was taken to the Washtenaw County jail but released following further investigation, police Sgt. Patrick Hughes told The Associated Press.

The naked man was not arrested and didn't want to pursue charges, Hughes said.

Anyone Remember the Chan Clan?

Me neither.

But does having a déjà vu about posting this count?

A Metaphor

for my "career" progress

Highland Avenue, Wednesday 6.14.06

Actually, you can't tell it from the photo, but the snail is crawling backwards.

ThisDrivesMeCrazyThisDrivesMeCrazyThisDrivesMeCrazy

[from Boing Boing]
Hell, I gotta get off the YouTube.. That mess is like crack.

Sudden Realization -- Goth:My Day :: Emo: Now

This funny video lit that bulb in my head. I guess kids these days (holy shit did i really just write that?) don't need the thematic backdrop of the Dark Ages to punctuate their angst & misery like I did. Although the accessories sure were fun, if not a bit theatrical: candelabras, ankhs, Victorian & Edwardian accoutrements, etc.

Until now I had the mistaken notion that 'emo' was more of a folk/indie type thing. Like Eliot Smith and whatnot. Whatever. Anyway, this girl Hope and I would have been great friends in High School.

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Update: Haha! Apparently, I am not alone in my confusion. This thread at snopes.com covers it with illustrative .jpgs.

I Promise This is the Last Coulter Post *EVER*

Rollins transcribes a missive to everyone's favorite psycho.
His eloquence and pertinence are to be admired.

What? Not Bagel-Ann Microfiche Damon?

Thank goodness there's still some relatively well-adjusted, normal people in the industry. [MyWay news]

And if you don't get the title to this post, check out Corporate Casual. He's funny as hell, and most likely not very work-safe.

Survey Says Esquire's Readership is Obtuse and Boring

Jesus. Does anyone even watch Jay Leno on television anymore, let alone want to dine with him?

And < sarcasm> such imaginative choices for the ladies < /sarcasm> : Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Oprah Winfrey. Asleep. Hell, even I'd choose Condoleeza Rice over them. I'd pick Ms. Fucking Pac-Man over any of them.

This is how I wake up and read the news. Two nights of insomnia (thanks again RJ Reynolds!) are probably to blame.

Monday Morning Summary

First, I'm pleased to announce that I can hear the ringtone loud and clear.. Take that you damn whippersnappers! [NYT]

Second, I'm pleased to announce that hypocrite Mary Cheney's book is tanking and will result in her publisher taking a fat loss. [RawStory]

And third, here's a perfect example of why very often, American's suck and Japanese people rock.
Well criminals, anyway. [News via MyWay]

I heard a couple of factoids this weekend about Man Coulter. Accusations of plagiarism for one. And she lies about her age (along with where she lives in order to commit voter fraud).

Chateau duh Winetasting --My Wine Tasting Journal: First Entry

1. Chateau St. Michelle - 2003 - Chardonnay
Columbia Valley [Woodinvale, Washington]
Notes:
-low acidity, perhaps too low?
-fruits: apple, melon, citrus [note: not to ctrl-freak, but to drinking companion]
-teensy oaky fragrance; not much in mouth
Cost: $12.00/$9.00

2. Chateau St. Jean - 2003 - Merlot
Kenwood, California
Notes:
-to eye: pretty thick/dark
-to nose: cordouroy, alcohol-y
-to mouth: somewhat tart; lighter bodied than expected
finishes quicker than expected
tannic: not very
Cost:$15.00/$9.00

Summary:
Chardonnay was forgettable; Merlot was fun, light, good starter for $;
I have a feeling that pricier Chardonnays will end up being more 'rewarding'

Uh, Cleanup in Aisle 4

Jun 10, 9:28 PM (ET)

CEDAR CITY, Utah (AP) - A 28-year-old woman has been cited for lewdness for exposing herself inside a store. The woman was riding a motorized cart inside Lin's Market Place on Thursday with her pants around her ankles and not wearing underwear.

Customers didn't notice the woman until she would stand up from the cart and bend over to look at items on the shelf, exposing her buttocks.

The woman told police she arrived in Cedar City with a circus but was left behind.

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ctrl-SportsFan

World Cup: Sweden got OWNED by Trinidad & Tobago. DRAW!

I wish I were in Dortmund.

First Sad, Then Crazy

1. A good, sad read. [A Hundred's Not Enough, waiterrant.net]


2. I flip a major F.U. to the RJ Reynolds tobabcco company. Total bullshit I tell you. I'm cleaning the goddamned grout in my kitchen while simultaneously writing with a .2 mm micro-fine point pen because my mind is hell-bent on control of small tight tiny things as I detox from a lifetime of abusing their product.
   

I don't even know if that sentence makes sense. Whatever.

I dreamt in Chinese last night.

I don't speak Chinese.

Wow, That's Busy

Wednesday One-liners, Minority Report
Very busy person: In class I start saying "African American" and then I'm like, fuck it, and I say "black black black..." I don't have time to be saying "African American."

--27th & 10th

via Overheard in New York, Jun 7, 2006

Memory Lane

Good times.

Shazam!
Isis

Zoom

ElectraWoman & Dyna Girl

Wink

The Burden

Jesus, when Blogger shits the bed, it really goes whole hog. It's been crunked and disorderly for like 2 days now...Whatever. I guess you get what you pay for, right?

Since this shitty, free web publishing application simply ATE my last post all about the Protect Marriage Bullshit that is going on in this fine nation of ours </sarcasm> I'm just going to post a nice, unrelated Buddhist allegory that I think we can all do well by:

THE BURDEN

Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the road sides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk accross because of a puddle of water. The elder of the two monks went up to a her lifted her in his alms and left her on the other side of the road, and continued his way to the monastery.

In the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and said, "Sir, as monks, we cannot touch a woman ?"

The elder monk answered "yes, brother".

Then the younger monk asks again, " but then Sir, how is that you lifted that woman on the roadside ?"

The elder monk smiled at him and told him " I left her on the other side of the road, why are you are still carrying her? "

Ann Coulter Continues to Embarrass Herself and Nauseate Us

You know you're batshit insane when Kathy Griffith and Al Roker call you out.
Poor Matt Lauer had to smell this so early in the morning..I believe this is worse than having Tom Cruise accuse you of being "glib".

(I wonder how her felony voter-fraud case is going?)

Oh hell, why we're slumming it with talk of her Nastiness, here's an interesting post apparently written by a relative of Ann Coulter's - phrases like "hated nazi" & "real slut" are used to describe. Also, she's a big pathetic liar who has to have media training from people from the RNC in order to learn her "lines" . Classic. She's not only a bitch, she's a dumb one at that.

Crooks and Liars recap

Becks vs. the Forces of Evil

I simply do not have it in me today to deconstruct the nastiness coming from that mean ole' dress-wearing bastard in Vatican City or the near laughable (if they weren't so tragic) antics from the idiot who's trying to run the country, so instead I offer something simple, attractive, and free from hypocrisy. Mister David Beckham, captain of team England in the World Cup:

Body Language Analysis

Kevin Spacey looks like the chubby kid at a school dance who gets all giddy when the star jock affords him a moment of attention or simply doesn't hurl abuse at him. Poor guy. Why so closed off Jake? The crossed arms, the tight grin?

Do You Think the Monkey in Charge of the US Would Understand This If He Saw It?

Me neither. What a shame.

Oh Spam, Don't You Ever Take a Break from Clogging Up My Inbox?

Like weekends?

Try it.

Thanks,
ctrl-freak

Oh, No Thanks - I Gave Up Smoking

Two days now without a cigarette.

You can't even tell.

Merde sainte ! Oeil du tigre

Please please click this link and watch this, tournez votre acoustique satisfont dessus.

File Under: Freak, French, funny

Annie, Get Your Lawyer

So fun to watch... I bet she'll look good in Oubliette Orange.

Unfortunately, she got the best representation money can buy.
Marcos Jimenez is the dude who fought for Cheney/Bush to steal win the election in 04'.

Shiloh Pitt?

Or Piloh Shitt.

you decide.

*props to popbitch for it.

Nerd Alert

I'm off to the movies...
Review to come

Friday Wallowing

My Internet Quest is Over

I've found my place.

Wait, shit -- it's a shopping site?? HTF can an unemployed philosopher afford to buy crap like this:


Actually, it's pretty funny, in a dorkish way.

Because It's All True

Here

Off License

It Can Never Be Said Enough, Helen & Why Are You Such a Bitch?

To: ctrl-freak
From: Helen [davidson@goodlex.com]
Date: 9:09am
Subject: you remember

Seriously how many times can it be said.

If ur angry w/ur extra pds, check out how 2change at
http://npw.oq.youractivelive.org.

too. through me. "Black Basically Billy" And light

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File Under: Spam

You Said It

From Pictures of Walls