Ugh, Hello My Name Is

Dear Dreaded Introduction letter [a.k.a The Request for an Information Interview Letter].

My name is obviously the one that my email address indicates at the top of this letter, and my enclosed resume will feature anything that may grab your attention long enough to even care what I'm writing, so I'll get right to the point. I came across your firm while half-assedly searching the web under the keywords "jobs" "local area" "multimedia". The other tabs open in my browser while I was loading your page in the background were Gawker, the New York Times, Gmail, and Gizmodo.

I have a graduate degree from a semi-unknown program at an impressive institution in an ill-named field with a vague description. My work experience is impressive as well -- I've worked in Japan, then in NYC for a foreign government, and also at previously mentioned impressive institution in a very geeky technical graphics lab, but that too can be culled from the enclosed resume.

I've moved from NYC to SoCal and know nothing about the industry here while having absolutely no connections. For that reason, I'm trying to find out more. Your firm appears to be as off the beaten path as my skills and history are, making us a great match! I'll refer you to a web link that will show a video of one of my more recent projects. It will probably confuse or repel you, so feel free to contact me for more information.

Oh, and if I haven't been clear up until now, I'll ask you straight out - would you or one of your colleagues be willing and/or able (I'll take 1) to meet with me and talk about what you do and how a candidate like me might be able to gain entry to the field?

I probably won't follow up with this because my low self esteem will bring me to believe that if I were worth it, you'd contact me, but I'll say that I will anyway. Hopefully, the threat of being contacted by a stranger will compel you to take the proactive step of shutting me down first.

I look forward to hearing from you and genuinely appreciate your time in this matter.
Have a nice day.

Best Regards,
Ctrl-freak