Awesome Monday News!

She's been found!

This Mel Gibson DUI Thing is Out of Control

My somewhat-Significant Other won't stop referring to me as 'Sugar Tits'.

Book Club: The Last Assassin

"The Last Assassin" by Barry Eisler, is the 5th book in the 'Rain' series. (John Rain is a Japanese-American assassin.) It's falls along the line of the Jason Bourne series -- but with an added sexual tension/relationship perspective, wrapped up in some luxury international globe-trotting.

Anyways, this last book (in hardcover) was pretty good. Better than its predecessor, for sure. There's a very, very good scene towards the end of the book - at the climax - that is..extremely tense and upsetting but also...exciting. (I'm at a loss for descriptive adjectives right now.) It involves an Israeli colleague of Rain's, Delilah. She's infiltrated a very private, very exclusive, and most likely illegal, hostess club in Tokyo in an effort to gain access to Rain's target. She's a beauty - fit, blonde, sexy, and an A#1 badass. She's posing as a French expat applying for a hostess job at the club and she's sitting with "the bad guys" wowing the hell out of most of them. She's also wired - an internal earpiece and a wired mic sewn into the strap of her evening wear.

Rather than continue with a possible plot spoiler, I'll just recommend the series. Think of it as beach reading for guys.

Analysis: NYT Article on Unemployed Males 30-55

I've already been directed to the article by a number of well intentioned friends and family members.

The article, ultimately, sheds little light on this purported 'trend'. What I did find interesting what how little I have in common with the demographic the article attempts to illuminate. The first point however, does apply to me,

Millions of men like Mr. Beggerow -- men in the prime of their lives, between 30 and 55 -- have dropped out of regular work. They are turning down jobs they think beneath them or are unable to find work for which they are qualified, even as an expanding economy offers opportunities to work.

From there, it seems I diverge from the 'herd' of middle-aged unemployed males.

1. I am not a blue collar worker.
2. I have higher than a high-school education. [Note: For clarification - and in the spirit of blowing my own horn while hurling meaningless academic names at you, I did receive a Master's degree from the Kanbar Institute of Film & Television at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, specifically from the Interactive Telecommunications Program]
3. Accumulated savings have not made it more 'affordable' for me to be out of work.
4. "Many of these men could find work if they had to, but with lower pay and fewer benefits than they once earned, and they have decided they prefer the alternative." I wouldn't know about this yet as I haven't been able to procure a single job offer since coming to Los Angeles, save the one that paid $10/hour + gas to teach adults how to use a computer (3 hours a day) and was a 45 minute drive away.
   
5. I receive neither unemployment reimbursement nor disability payments.
6. I don't live alone.
7. I am not emerging from prison with a felony record.
8. I get less sleep than either these unemployed men who have stopped looking for work or their employed counterparts.
   

The rest of the article is equally boring and depressing, simultaneously. The bitter electrical engineer in Los Angeles whose dress was "out of place in the upscale Beverly Hills restaurant where he was interviewed for this article. But his education and skill were not out of place" hit too close to home for me to read comfortably.

I'd argue one point though: an advanced degree and some serious intellectual capacity is indeed out of place in the Los Angeles metro area job market.

The Internet Is Boring

I am seriously burnt out and bored with the web. I've Gawkered, Defamed, Drudged, Towleroaded, Boing-Boing'd, Stumbled, Fugged, MySpaced, AdRanted, Forksplit, GoldenFiddled, Overheard, PostSecreted, YouTubed, and Made Money Not Art to the point where I'm numb to it.

Like most good things, too much can ruin it.

Haircut

Bye bye chin, where'd you go?

This shot doesn't really do justice to the length at the bottom which is beginning to resemble
a 'tail' quite nicely. Also interesting - since one never sees the straight on view
of the back of one's head, the strip down the back is wider than I expected.

As a result of my somewhat more severe haircut, I went out of my way to be extra-friendly during my late afternoon visit to the foodstore. I held the door and smiled at an old lady and even let a couple scoot in front of me at checkout because they only had a toothbrush and toothpaste and i had like 15 items.

I don't want to scare people off. I have a hard enough time making friends as it is.

Permission

My Boy is Unige

I haven't yet come up with a catchy pseudonym for my 'companion' (either in Life or on this blog) so I'll call him Geoffrey for now..

'Geoffrey's' aunt sent out a mass email the other day, explaining that she was going through some old photo books and stumbled across this artifact:

Transcription:

How I am Unique Sept. 19, 1980
By 'Geoffrey'

I am very unige in all the world. No one is like me. forinsance I am a Godfather of my cousin, Klye. I am the only 9 year old Godfather I know of. I am a guard of my little brother Timmy when we walk to school. I am also a big brother to him when hes in trouble

It literally brought tears to my eyes.

Both his spelling and grammar were atrocious.

Mid Summer Stats

Well, well.. Very interesting.

I just stepped off the bathroom scale, après bain, and what did I spy?
I've lost 10 pounds since I purchased the scale (late winter?) and my bodyfat is down to 14%*.

My tan has reached enviable levels. More than 1 individual has declared to me, "you're soo tan". I've been using a 30SPF (liberally and repeated applications, natch) all summer.

Now I'm not that interested in 'tanning' per se, but it is nice to know that with minimal effort, one can become sun-kissed bronze without effort in Southern California.

As for the fat loss..(cause that's what we're talking about now, aren't we).. I just need to figure out a way to get the bodyfat lower while adding mass. I already eat like a robot -- I actually drank a glass of carrot juice prior to cocktail hour) so it's going to have to be a combination of more cardio (goodbye right hip) and supplements (goodbye kidneys). Is Creatine the solution?
And fuck that suggestion that I "cut out alcohol" because of the "empty calories". That's complete and utter bunk. It's much more likely that I have some rare allergy to say... - water! - that prevents me from losing the rest...

On a tangent, I've discovered that the teeny, tiny flies that seem to be moving in to my apt. (what? i shouldn't leave my front door open all day long? shut up, it's hot) really, really like Viogner. Rabbit Ridge to be precise. You-know-who has kindly removed not one, but TWO from my glass already this evening. He's great.



*Scale is describes as a "household" scale and "not for athletic or medical purposes". The documentation says something to the effect that for more accurate bodyfat measurements, one should use the "athletic" model of the scale which assumedly, costs more and works better. Whatever, my bodyfat was 18% when I first purchased it, so regardless it's down 5 percentage points.

A Good Thing

It's a hot and humid Tuesday (I'm not bitching, mind you, I'm just sayin') and rather than scour Craigslist for possible means of earning some money, I've been more domestically focused.

Here's what I made - a refreshing NON-ALCOHOLIC summer beverage:

6 cups of chilled still spring or mineral water
12 thin cucumber slices
4 thin lemon slices (or lime if that's your thing)
4 sprigs fresh mint, slightly crushed
2 sprigs fresh rosemary, slightly crushed

[serves 4 thirsty people]

I tell you, it's the most Martha Stewart I've gotten to date. I even used an old school wooden spoon to stir up all the herbed goodness in the pitcher. I should open my own spa.

Hangin' Around, Nothing to Do But Frown

I just received an email from someone at a big studio in Hollywood with whom I had a phone conversation and agreed to set up an interview for a gig. She regretfully informed me that the position is an entry-level one (and therefore I am not eligible) but wants "to stay in touch" in the event that something more in line with my skillset and salary requirements opens up.

I tell you, if I had a fucking dollar for every time I've heard the "want to keep in touch" line out here in Los Angeles, I wouldn't need a job. I could buy you a present.

Whatever.

Mind Purge

I'm suffering from the onset of delayed post vacation depression so instead of parsing the contents of my mind into thoughts here, I'm merely posting an image of David Beckham cavorting on Roberto Cavalli's yacht on the Italian coast. Enjoy.

Apparently he's bumming about England's world cup loss and facing a downturn in his career for the first time. Full 'story' at Socialite's Life

SuperCrap

Superman Returns sucked.

The only 2 redeeming qualities of the movie were Brandon Routh's performance and Parker Posey. Both could have been better, mind you, but those 2 didn't suck.

Everything else about the film (read KATE BOSWORTH & KEVIN SPACEY) sucked.

There's nothing in this film you haven't seen Christopher Reeve & Gene Hackman already do much better. The characters (except for Routh) were flat and never popped, the plot was lame and unoriginal (we've already seen Kryptonite get stolen from a museum), and the villains don't even get what they deserve. Getting squashed by a rock accidentally doesn't cut it.

I wanted to leave the theater about 20 minutes into the film, but the crowd and my location in the aisle prevented me from doing so.

Go watch Superman II if you need a fix of the caped crusader. This production is weak.

Back from Vacation

And I've let things slide.

My friends' birthdays for one. My sister's too.

I'm bummed about it - mostly because I'm dissappointed in myself for not being the kind of guy who's so on top of things that he gets cards and gifts in the mail before he heads away to a place with no mobile phone or internet connection. I am perfectly capable of being that on top of things but lately, I've been letting things slip by through procrastination. If it weren't so hot and humid here today, I'd be less lethargic about it and get up off my ass to do something active and positive in that regard.

I guess it doesn't quite suffice or serve as consolation to say that I had said people on my mind and was 'wishing' them a happy day despite not getting in touch.

Huff. Pout.

No, screw it. I'm going to get back into the swing of things, starting now.

Friday Mashup

It's only Friday morning and already I'm in a spin.

I went to see a friend's film screened at Outfest in Hollywood last night.
She and her co-producer shot the short entirely on throwaway video cameras from CVS (nice one) and were the sole 2 cast members as well. It was titled 'Disposable' and it was great. It was a well edited vignette with good sound and I enjoyed watching it. More to be written about this. Declined drinks after and came home to figure out a food solution and watch the final episode of BSG Season 1. Shocking ending. Cylons are being developed plotwise as even more hateful.

Today I read some weird ass news article about police officers making some drug bust where the dude had crack cookies hidden in a Pringles can. Wow. I didn't realize that crackheads were so..crafty. I can only wonder what crack crisps feel like on one's tongue?

Hmm..What else can I bore you with? The fact that I'm reading 'Testosterone Nation' ("dot-com" of course) for rock solid shoulder weight exercises? Melon delts, man. That's what I'm talking about.

Wednesday in a Nutshell

First I heard an awesome audio clip of Ann Coulter getting owned by Adam Corolla on his radio show for her lying to him and throwing attitude, then I read that her column (didn't know she had one) got dumped from the Gazette of Cedar Rapids, Iowa (!). I imagine her, crouched in a closet ripping clumps of hair from her (empty) head as her career unravels.

Second, I've recently upped the exercise regimen while closely monitoring my protein intake. My goal is to have visible abdominal muscles by summer's end. In all likelihood this will only happen if I perform > 40 minutes of cardio at least three times per week. As it is I can't each much less fat and I don't think I'll be giving up my wine with dinner, so it looks like a combo of running/elliptical/treadmill will be the means to that end. See, I'm not just brains..

Third, and most importantly, I just got a phone call from a large production studio who received my resume and some good words via a friend. The woman who rang was very direct and not prone to small talk. I think I made the first cut (on the phone anyway). She actually asked me (among other things like salary expectation and willingness to work for someone "with a lot in his head,") "Mac or PC" and "what software do you know?" I replied, "Everything from Word to Maya." That seemed to suffice. We shall see. When I get back from my trip back east, I am to call her to set up a meeting.

And a couple of random wrap ups: got more Battlestar Galactica DVD's on their way thanks to Netflix; I successfully snagged Gawker Comment privileges so look for my biting wit and highbrow sarcasm there. And as soon as I can find that Rainbow Chard recipe I will post it.

Farmer's Market Update *Pics Added*

I just returned from the inaugural town Farmer's Market at the newly renovated town 'square'. The police station and firestation have been relocated and given new, state-of-the-art digs. (All those kitties stuck in trees, you know.) Despite the battalions of bleached housewives with jogging strollers, I made out like a bandit. There was even an old-timers jug band of sorts, with one cute little ancient lady playing the washboard. No sign of Huck Finn, but the sprouts girl hooked me up with 6 shots of (freezable) wheat grass juice and a hefty bag of assorted sprouts and germinated beans, including but not limited to:
onion sprouts (spicy!)
radish sprouts (ditto)
3 other kinds of sprouts
black eye peas
soy beans
3 other kinds of beans

which I will be eating with the fat slab of hamachi sashimi (that's right) that I bought for slicing up. This may very well be the best and healthiest lunch I've ever made for myself.

As a result, I will be photo documenting the entire preparation.

Stay tuned.

---

So here's my lunch. The diet of a nomad.

This is the bag o' sprouts and beans. (It was bigger than
it appears in this photo.)

The hamachi. Yes, it's cut very poorly, because the knife I sharpened was shite.


The salad (upper left); chopstick/shoyu/wasabi dish (upper right);
hamachi sashimi platter (bottom center)

What? Oh it's just the assortment of berries I got.

The blackberries are very big.

Weekend Recap

A couple observations first:

• Paris Hilton's single "Stars Are Blind" sucks as a single and is worse as a video (Logo, you should be ashamed of yourselves for airing it). I'm voting for a media blackout on that whore 'celebrity'. She's disgusting and embarrassing. Enough said.
  

• Mad Hot Ballroom is an excellent movie. Great documentary about NYC public school kids who practice for a regional competition. The kids from Tribeca are all weird and neurotic, but the Dominican kids from Washington Heights rocked. I couldn't get over how adult the kids came across -- so articulate and sensitive. I think NYC does something to even children that results in their being...superior. It's the perfect 'feel good film' of the summer for me thus far.

• Yesterday ended up being a Perfect Day© without effort.. Very Zen. Woke up, went to breakfast, then watched the World Cup final in HD (you're a scumbag Zidane). Came home, went for a 40 min. run, read a book. I ended up making a great dinner consisting of rainbow chard with pumpkin seeds and garlic, capellini with olive tapenade dressing, and the best chicken piccata (sauce) EVER. It's also very nice to know that after 14+ years with my mate, we can still put the sauce on low to leave the kitchen and rip each other's clothes off upstairs. (Thanks lucky jockstrap!). After a really great meal, we watched Mad Hot Ballroom (somewhat reluctantly at first because we really wanted to watch more Battlestar Galactica episodes but we're out).

How's that for too much information? Irregardless, I realized at the end of the day that it had been, a Perfect one.

Today Just Keeps Getting Better

It looks like my wallet was lost/stolen - most likely yesterday at the pub I went to watch the World Cup match at.

More to come..

---

Update: Heh, heh.. I found it. In my backpack. Funny thing is, after stumbling out of the pub with a couple of pitchers working to numb the pain of Germany's loss, the rest of the afternoon is a bit hazy. I guess being the careful ctrl-freak that I am, I put my wallet in my backpack for my afternoon nap on the beach. Hmm. I need to chain my billfold to my pelvis permanently somehow.

Overages

Imagine you have a mobile phone that rarely rings and that you rarely use to call people (because you have few friends, no job, and hate the headache that results from holding the thing to your sensitive head). Imagine that said mobile phone is essentially a text-messaging device (1000 msg/month!). Now imagine that your normal bill is a constant $68.14 without fail.

Are you with me?

Okay, now imagine the horror when you open this month's phone bill to see a total of $152.86. Oh sure, you go through the whole "This can't be right!?" drama. You immediately start dredging up repressed false-memories, "I must have left my phone in the car that night I went to Matsuhisa's for dinner and those damn valet guys called all their friends back in the Bronx." You go and check your email sent box to try to piece together what you may have been doing on the day when these expensive calls start racking up. Nothing. After the denial abates, you very assertively pick up your landline and call T-Mobile. As you are bounced around by the oh-so-diligent voicemail drone ("Hm, let me see if I have that right..You said 'speak with a customer service representative'...") you glance down at the total minutes and see that you've exceeded your 600 minute plan by 50% to a grand total of 900 minutes.

Once the friendly but hoarse customer service rep comes on the line, your bravado vaporizes. "Um..I have a question about my bill," you whimper. And by you, I mean me.

[end scenario of attempting to evoke empathy through projecting my nightmare onto you]

"Well I'd certainly be happy to go over it with you, Mr. Ctrl-Freak, and I do know how shocking it can be when you receive a bill that is much higher than you expected," the perkier-than-possible woman intones, then mechanically babbles through the details of my calling plan, ending with the observation that I surpassed my 600 minutes by 300 minutes resulting in the steep "overage" charge. She points out the obvious - that I may want to up my plan if I expect to be using my phone more.

I consider snarking back "Well, if I expected to use my phone more, I would have increased my minutes before you thieves starting raping me at a rate of $.40/minute," but think better of it.

"Er..Okay, well I'll look over the plans online and get back to you. Thanks for your..uh..help," I squeak pathetically. <>

---

I honestly don't know how I could have talked for 900 minutes last month. I literally hate talking on cell phones.

Feel free to send donations to ctrl-freak via the Internet.